Drift and Die
by Saerry Snape
Summary: {Severitus challenge fic} Harry wakes up one morning at No 4 Privet Drive and finds himself looking completely different. Noone else, however, notices it. Until he gets to Hogwarts that is... Then there are a lot of questions and a surprise revelation
1. Ch 1-5

May I make a point of saying that disclaimer's are highly overrated? I mean, the site is called _Fanfiction.Net._ Why, pray tell, do we need disclaimers? We all know I don't own this. I dearly wish I _did_ but…I don't. And now that my rant is done, let the fic begin. 

** Another fic for Severitus' challenge. **

And many thanks to my wonderful beta's!  Luna Rose/Phoenix Child, Aishiteru Duo, Jasmine-Softly-Spoken, Heather, Artemisu, Arabella Figg, and Laura (who I thank expressly for making this chapter better).  
  


* * * Forgotten thoughts of yesterday 

_Through my eyes I see the past___

_I don't know, I don't know, I don't know why___

_I believe, I believe in the truth from the inside___

_Go away, go away, go away from me,___

_LEAVE ME ALONE_

_- Drift and Die, Puddle of Mudd -___

_* * *_

Drift and Die Saerry Snape Chapter 1 

_…truth from the inside…_

_Pain!_

Harry Potter rolled over on his bed as another streak of pain shot through him. It had been going on like this ever since his fifteenth birthday two weeks ago. As far as he could tell they were growing pains. And fearsome one's at that. 

Biting back a groan, Harry rolled over and sat up, swinging his legs down to the floor. Pushing himself up, he staggered over to the desk in the room where Hedwig's cage sat. But now his cauldron sat on it as well, filled to the brim with a potion. He had brewed it the day after his birthday as making a potion didn't count as magic outside of school. He had been taking it ever since to try and keep the pains down enough so that he could move. Hedwig hooted softly at him from her cage as he picked up an old green mug with a hairline crack in it and dipped some of the potion out. He knocked it back quickly, grimacing at the taste. Setting the mug back down beside the cauldron, he let Hedwig out, and then hobbled back over to his bed. As he fell back down upon it on his back, Hedwig fluttered over and landed beside him, the feathery covering over her feet brushing against his hands. 

Smiling weakly, Harry reached up and stroked his owl's soft feathers. Eventually he fell asleep. 

* * * * * * * * * 

Up! _Up! Now!_" 

As usual, Harry awoke to the sound of Aunt Petunia banging on his door and shrieking at him. Not a preferable way to be awakened. 

Turning over, he reached for his glasses and put them on. As he did he found everything was blurry. Blinking, he took them off and looked down at them in confusion. When he looked back up, he gasped. 

He could see! 

Harry blinked a few more times then got up and hobbled out of his room, down the hall, and into the bathroom. Leaning over the sink he splashed water on his face then grabbed a towel, straightening as he did so. When he put the towel down, he gasped at the reflection staring back at him from the mirror. 

A tall, pale youth with lank black hair falling to his chin stared back at him. Dark eyebrows arched gracefully over the slightly slanted eyes and high cheekbones jutted sharply out from under the youth's skin, partially hidden by the hair. Harry's mouth dropped open and so did the youth's thin lipped one. His eyes widened. So did the reflections. 

"Oh my God…"

_That was him in the mirror!_

Harry gaped silently at his reflection. How had it happened? Sure, there were the growing pains (which had miraculously vanished suddenly) but he didn't expect there to be this many changes! 

Harry peered at his reflection, trying to see if it was a trick. But it wasn't. Through the hair on the reflection he could see the lightning bolt scar that made him so famous. It was his reflection. And it seemed vaguely familiar… 

Breathing quickly, he tried to think of what could have happened. Maybe the potion? Had he gotten it wrong?  Could it have caused this? 

No. He had gotten the potion right. At the end of fourth year he had become more adept at potions – despite Snape's constant snapping remarks each class. He knew he hadn't gotten the potion wrong. 

So what was it? 

"_HARRY!!_" 

Wincing, Harry blinked at the mirror for a few more minutes, unwilling to leave until he figured this out. As he couldn't, he turned and threw open the bathroom door, getting downstairs quickly thanks to his newly acquired longer legs. When he arrived in the kitchen Aunt Petunia snapped, "It's about time! Go cook the bacon!" 

Harry blinked. _Does she not see it?_

Apparently she didn't as she shoved him towards the stove and the pan of bacon. Harry turned his attention to it, still wondering what in heaven's name was going on. 

* * * * * * * * * 

Back upstairs in his room, Harry pulled out a piece of parchment and a quill, falling back onto his bed. Hedwig sat on one of the bedposts, her eyes half lidded so only a slim line of amber looked at him. Harry ran a hand through her snowy feathers, noting with a shudder that his hands were slimmer and paler, the fingers long and tapered. Still shivering, he sat his quill to the parchment and began to write. 

_Sirius,_

_Are wizards supposed to change drastically at some point? Because I have. It started as soon as my fifteenth birthday came around. I thought it was just growing pains but when I looked in the mirror this morning there was a completely different person looking back! I don't know what's going on. I suppose it could be a potion I made for the pains but I really don't believe that. Please help._

_-Harry_

Harry rolled the letter up quickly and tied it to Hedwig's leg. The snowy owl was awake in a moment, her amber eyes blinking at him. Walking over to the window, Harry opened it and said, "Go to Sirius, girl." Hedwig hooted softly and nipped his fingers before soaring off out his window. Harry stood staring after her for a long while, even when he couldn't see her anymore. 

He just hoped Sirius knew what was going on. 

* * * * * * * * * 

"Padfoot! You've got a letter!" 

"From who?" 

"Harry!" 

Sirius bounded out of the kitchen and into Remus' living room where the werewolf was untying a letter from Harry's owl. He handed it to Sirius, who opened it and read it quickly. 

"Well?" said Remus with an arched eyebrow. 

"Patience, Moony." 

"Padfoot, what does it say?" Werewolves, and especially Remus, were not known for their patience. 

Sirius gave his friend a worried look and replied; "He's asking if wizards change drastically at some point in life." 

"_Everyone_ changes drastically at some point in life." 

"Not like this. He says he looked in the mirror this morning and there was a different person looking back." 

Remus' eyebrows shot up into his hair. "Now, that's a new one." 

"Tell me about it. I'm going over there." 

"Padfoot!" 

"He's my godson, damnit! I have to help him!" 

"Do you want to get caught? You can't help him if you're back in Azkaban!" 

Sirius growled, "Then what the hell can I do?" 

"Write him back," replied Remus. "I'll head over there tomorrow and see what's going on. If the problem is serious, I'll go talk to Albus." 

"I'm Sirius." Sirius replied with a smirk. 

Remus cuffed his friend's shoulder. "Silly." 

Sirius simply grinned and went in search of a quill and a piece of parchment. 

* * * * * * * * * 

_Harry,_

_I can't say I've ever heard of that before but it could happen. Remus is going to come over there tomorrow. Maybe he can figure out something. I'd come myself but Moony refuses to let me._

**_And for good reason!_**

_Hush, Moony. I'll be seeing you._

_-Sirius_

Harry smiled at his godfather's letter then stored it under the loose floorboard, pulling out the copy of _Quidditch Through the Ages_ that Hermione had given him for his birthday. Hedwig hooted softly from her perch at the end of the bed as he read, wishing that the next day would come quickly so he could figure out what was going on.   
  
  
  


* * *

Unwanted, live my life in shame, who's to blame for my mistakes 

_I don't know, I don't know, I don't know why_

_I believe, I believe in the truth from inside_

_Go away, go away, go away from me, and LEAVE ME ALONE_

_- Drift and Die, Puddle of Mudd -_

_* _* * 

Chapter 2 …who's to blame… 

Remus Apparated in a few blocks down from the Dursley's house at one o'clock the next day. He passed easily through the wards set up around the house and the surrounding blocks (the protection wards had been lengthened and strengthened after the Tri-Wizard Tournament) to keep out those who had bad intentions towards those inside.  He walked up to the front door and began rapping quickly on it. 

A bony, horse-faced woman answered the door and he presumed this was Lily's sister, Petunia. 

_I wouldn't think they were related_, thought Remus. 

Petunia looked him up and down, frowning at his dusty blue jeans, worn shirt, and slightly patched jacket, before she said, "If you're selling something, we don't want it." As she started to close the door, Remus said, "I'm here to see Harry." 

Petunia's eyes went wide and she snapped, "There's no one here by that name." 

The door started to close again but Remus grabbed the door in one hand and held it still. On the other side Petunia heaved all her weightagainst it. 

"There's no one named Harry here! Go away!" 

"I know Harry is here, Mrs. Dursley. He sent me a letter." 

Petunia's voice rose in pitch as she shrieked, "_Your one of them!_" 

Remus rolled his eyes and pushed the door open by force. Being a werewolf had its perks at times. Petunia ran for the kitchen as soon as he was inside. Sighing and shaking his head, he closed the door behind him then looked around the room. Spotting the staircase, he started towards it but stopped when he heard a hiss of metal behind him. Turning he threw himself aside just in time as there was a loud _bang_ and something hot shot past him, grazing his shoulder before it slammed into the wall. Remus turned his eyes towards the kitchen doorway where Vernon stood; a heavy barreled .45 shotgun in his beefy hands. 

"Get out," growled Vernon. 

Remus frowned at the weapon then looked up at Vernon. 

"All I want to do is talk to Harry." 

"_There is no Harry here!_" Vernon boomed!   
  
Remus quickly thought, _Then why have you pulled a gun on me?_

There was another roar of the gun and Remus threw himself across the room, rolling behind the couch. He quickly pulled out his wand and peered around the side to take aim. As soon as he had it, he hissed, "_Congelo[1]!_" 

Vernon froze in mid**-**step, his eyes widening in fear as he found he couldn't move. Remus stood up and walked around the couch, wrenching the gun from the man's fingers and tucked it into the pocket of his jacket after flicking the safety on. He then turned to see Petunia flee into the kitchen. Following her, he growled, "Where's Harry?" 

After giving a tiny shriek of terror she pointed out of the room towards the cupboard under the stairs. 

Remus quickly left the kitchen and stormed over to the stairs, unlocking the cupboard and throwing the door open. The site that met Remus' eyes was truly horrific. 

"Merlin…Harry?" Remus gasped. 

Harry staggered to his feet and fell out of the cupboard into Remus' arms. He managed a weak, "Help," before he fell unconscious. 

* * * * * * * * * 

Remus laid Harry out on the couch, surveying his injuries. It looked as though his wand arm was broken in three places, his left wrist in two, and his nose as well. He had bruises running all up and down his arms and legs and most likely on his torso as well. Added to the half-healed scars and dried blood he looked as bad as Snape had when Sirius had beaten him up in their second year. 

Remus healed what he could of Harry's injuries and bandaged his wrist and arm. Then he returned to the kitchen for Petunia. Hauling her up by her arm, he growled, "Where are his things?" 

She shrieked, "Upstairs!" 

Remus narrowed his eyes and spat, "Who did this to him?" 

Petunia shook her head at him and Remus let part of the wolf out. His gray eyes turned a brilliant shade of amber, short claws sprang from his fingertips, and his teeth grew into sharp fangs. As Petunia quivered in his grasp, he snarled, "_Who did this to him?_" 

"V-V-V-Vernon." 

Remus released her and stalked out of the room, purposefully snarling at Vernon as he breezed by the man. As he stormed upstairs, he smelt the distinctive scent of urine. 

Forcing the wolf back under control, he searched through the upstairs rooms until he found the one that was definitely Harry's from the trunk sitting over in the corner and the empty owl cage on the desk. Remus found the loose floorboard, dug all of the stuff out of it and threw it into the trunk along with the _Quidditch Through the Ages_ book he found on the bed. 

He then noticed the limp body of snowy feathers that lay on the bed. Gently, he picked the owl up, feeling for a heartbeat. Finding none, he sighed deeply and carefully placed her body in the cage then shrunk it and the trunk, tucking them into his other pocket, heart heavy. 

Heading back downstairs, he conjured a stretcher and levitated Harry onto it. Turning to Vernon, he growled, "I suggest you take a long trip. As soon as his godfather finds out what you did to him, you won't be alive long enough to tell about it." Softly, he added, "And if I wouldn't get killed for it, I'd kill you myself."

Vernon's eyes were wide in terror as Remus said this because his eyes were involuntarily glowing amber. Turning on his heels, the werewolf left the house, Harry gently floating behind him.  Before he broke the Ministry law that stated any werewolf that killed a person – be they wizard or Muggle – would be put to death.

* * * * * * * * * 

"'Bella! 'Bella, open the damned door!" 

Arabella Figg opened the door and gasped when she saw Remus standing on her doorstep, Harry floating behind him. 

"Remus! What happened?" 

"Dursley happened, that's what," growled Remus as he moved inside past her. Harry floated in after him and Arabella immediately began to fuss over him after she closed the door, taking off the Illusion Charm from herself. The Muggle's of Privet Drive thought she was a slightly batty, nosy old woman, but in reality she was the same age as Remus, with long brown hair and opaque blue eyes. 

"Merlin's beard, what did they do to him?" 

"It _was_ worse. I healed what I could and bandaged the rest." 

Arabella looked up at him and asked, "What are you going to do?" 

"Take him to Hogwarts," replied Remus. "Then go get tell Sirius." 

"_What?_ When he finds out, he's going to kill them!" 

"That's the general idea, 'Bella." 

Arabella frowned and looked at him with sympathetic eyes. "Remus…" 

"Yes, I know, it's not right, but God, 'Bella, what they did to him wasn't right either! Don't you want to do something to them? Lily was your _best friend_. _I_ almost killed them myself for what they did to Harry." 

"Of course I want to do something, Remus! And – yes – to them! But I can't! And neither can you or Sirius." 

"I know. But that doesn't take away the desire to throttle them until they are a nice shade of blue. 

Arabella placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, turning her blue eyes up into his. She softly said, "I know but we can't." 

Remus nodded solemnly then asked, "Do you have a Portkey to Hogwarts?" 

"Of course." 

"Can I borrow it? I'd make one myself but I want to get Harry up there as quickly as I can." 

Arabella reached over onto a nearby table and picked up a heavy cat-shaped paperweight. She handed it to Remus and said, "Just tap it twice with your wand and you'll end up in the entrance hall." 

"Thanks, 'Bella." 

"No trouble, Remus." Her eyes drifted to Harry and she added softly, "Anything for Harry." 

Remus patted her shoulder reassuringly then pulled out his wand, tapping the cat statue twice. He grabbed the end of Harry's stretcher as the Portkey whooshed them away. 

* * * * * * * * * 

As soon as Remus and Harry reappeared in the entrance hall, the werewolf jumped as though he had been shocked. When he had arrived at the Dursley's, he had seen, under all the bruises and injuries, the Harry Potter he had remembered. Now the boy lying on the stretcher floating beside him could be mistaken for nothing but a Snape. 

Remus blinked several times then jumped again when the pale youth vanished, replaced by the Harry he knew. He shook his head, eyes wide in wonder, and then pushed the stretcher through the air towards the Hospital Wing. 

* * * * * * * * * 

After settling Harry in with Madam Pomfrey, Remus ran down to Dumbledore's office. When the stone gargoyle guarding the entrance was in sight, he yelled out the password. 

"Peppermint toad!" 

The gargoyle slid aside quicker than normal and Remus leapt up the moving staircase three steps at a time. He was slightly out of breath by the time he got to the door at the top and threw it open. 

Behind his desk Dumbledore blinked. 

"Remus?!" 

"Albus… Harry…" 

Dumbledore waved a hand and a chair appeared in front of his desk. Remus collapsed into it after he had closed the door. 

The older wizard looked at the winded werewolf with concern in his eyes. "Now, what about Harry?" 

"Firstly, the Dursley's – mainly Vernon – beat him and threw him in the cupboard under the stairs again, I don't know what would have happened to him if I hadn't found him. Then, that excuse for a man nearly _shot me_. And finally, Harry's appearance keeps changing!" 

This all came out very fast and Remus' voice slowly rose in pitch as he spoke until he was close to screaming as he said the last words. Dumbledore muttered something and instantly the wild look in Remus' eyes died down. He shook his head for a moment then looked up at Dumbledore with a vague smile. 

"Thank you, Albus." 

Dumbledore nodded then reached into his desk for something. He slid a yellowed roll of parchment across it towards Remus and said, "You might want to read this." 

Remus frowned then reached out and took the document. 

_Albus,_

_If you are reading this, it means Voldemort has found us and James and I are dead. I know I shouldn't be saying this, but being the Slytherin that I am; kill Peter for me. James switched from Sirius to him at the last second and if you are reading this, it means we have been betrayed. I never did truly trust Peter you know. Must have been my Slytherin instincts. We rarely trust anything, you know._

_I also have something else to tell you._

_Harry isn't James' son._

_He's Severus'._

_I placed several charms on Harry after he was born. He looks so much like Severus it's uncanny. The only difference between them is he has my eyes and nose._

_The charms will begin to wear off after his fifteenth birthday (which will be when you receive this letter). If we were still alive, I would have told him. But as we are not, I leave that to you._

_Please look after them both for me and give them both my love. Especially Severus._

_He thinks I left him for James. Tell him I didn't. The reasons why are too many to write here. Please, Albus tell him. I wish I had before but now I can't. Tell him he was the one I loved, not James._

_Help him to love Harry. He doesn't think he's cut out to be a father. He will be. Make him see. Make them both see. I ask you this as my last wish._

_Sincerely, Lily Potter_

Remus looked up from the letter and breathed, "My God…" 

Dumbledore nodded. "That is what I said." 

"He's not James' son." 

"No. I have seen pieces of Severus in him through the years. They have the same scowl, you know." 

"And his appearance?" 

Dumbledore held up another roll of yellowed parchment and said, "This also came with the letter. It is a list of all the charms Lily used. Just incase, I suppose." 

Remus looked at the list and blinked several times. 

"She used the Verto Potion[2]?" 

"She was almost as good as Severus in Potions." 

Remus nodded. "The only thing she didn't get the top grade in. Merlin's beard, she used the Latere Veritas[3] Spell as well! I thought that and the Verto Potion didn't mix…" 

"Which is why she used the Presso[4] Charm as well. It enables them to act together." 

Remus gaped at the list then breathed, "Merlin, she did a lot to hide the truth from everyone." 

Dumbledore nodded and said, "She had good reason to." 

Remus looked up in surprise. "What? Why?" 

"I am afraid I cannot tell you that, Remus." 

"Does it have something to do with Severus?" 

"Yes." 

"Is it because he was a Death Eater?" 

"Partially," replied Dumbledore cryptically. "But there is something else in his past that caused her to keep the truth hidden for." 

"And you won't tell me?" 

"That is for Severus to tell." 

Remus sighed then asked, "What are we going to do about Harry?" 

"Take these spells off firstly. The Verto Potion will have to wear off by itself." 

"Won't the charms as well?" 

"Eventually they would. She timed them to begin breaking down on his fifteenth birthday." Dumbledore looked at Remus over his half moon glasses and continued, "I presume Harry contacted you about his new appearance?" 

Remus nodded. 

"But I didn't even see it until we got here. He looked….normal." 

"Naturally." 

"I don't follow." 

"As the spells are breaking down, his appearance flickers, like a candle in the wind. But only when magic is at work. Such as with the Portkey." 

"Then how could he see it?" 

"Some magic is so powerful that only the most powerful of mage's can see it. Before the spells began to break down, no one could see it. As they have now, a powerful wizard could look at him and see the truth under the spells. A Muggle, per say, could not." 

"I think I understand now." 

"Very good. Now, let us go see how Harry is doing." 

Remus nodded and both men rose and left the office. 

* * * * * * * * * 

"Let me go!" 

"You have to stay in bed!" 

"_No!_" 

"_Mr. Potter!_" 

Harry sprinted out of the Hospital Wing and tumbled as he tripped over Mrs. Norris, who had dashed between his legs. He pin wheeled his arms trying not to fall and ended up being caught. Looking up into the worried gray eyes of Remus, he managed a very meek "Hi." Remus straightened the wavering teen onto his feet, watching as the boy's appearance flickered and once again the tall, pale youth appeared, his knuckles standing out sharply against his skin from where he clutched at the hospital pajamas. A second later, Harry was back, eyes wide and frightened. He looked up at Remus and breathed, "You saw…" 

Remus nodded and Harry asked, "What's going on? Why do I look different? And why has no one else noticed?" 

"I have noticed, Harry." 

Harry pivoted around, staring wide-eyed at Dumbledore. He gasped, "You can see?" When Dumbledore nodded, he turned back on Remus and continued, "You _both_ can see?" 

Remus shook his head. "I just saw it for a moment." 

Harry looked back at Dumbledore and said quickly, "Professor, what's going on? 

"Let us go inside. Simply to keep Poppy happy, mind you." 

Dumbledore gently led Harry inside the Hospital Wing, gesturing for Remus to follow him. 

* * * * * * * * * 

Madam Pomfrey seemed placated by the Headmaster's presence but pointed Harry at a bed and shoved a vial into his hand. 

"Bed and drink that!" 

She then rounded on Dumbledore and Remus. 

"And you two, don't keep him up. He needs _rest!!_" 

With that she vanished into her office, muttering to herself, leaving the three to stare after her. Harry blinked then climbed into the bed and sat the vial down on the table beside it. He then turned to Dumbledore and said, "Now can you tell me what's going on?" 

Dumbledore and Remus shared a look and Harry instantly thought, _Oh no…_

Dumbledore pulled a roll of yellowed parchment from his robes and handed it to Harry, who took it cautiously and unrolled it. A smile broke over his face as he read the first few lines. Then all color vanished from it and his appearance flickered again, becoming that of the pale youth once more, who's already, pale skin had turned a pasty white. 

He looked up at Remus and Dumbledore, eyes wide. 

"I can't be his son." 

"Harry…" 

"No! I can't be! _I can't!!_" 

Remus took a step forward and said again, "Harry…" 

Harry snarled and pushed himself backwards teeth bared and eyes wide. He growled, "Go away. _Go away! I'm not his son! I'M NOT!!_" 

Dumbledore touched Remus' arm and softly said, "Leave him alone for a while, Remus." 

With a nod the werewolf let the headmaster lead him out of the Hospital Wing, looking back only once to see Harry's appearance flicker once more. 

  
  


_* * *_

_I can't find my way back home, lost my head down there somewhere_

_Could we just be gone alone, lived in doubt and fear I've shown_

_Gazing down a long grey road, I see the stop sign way up ahead_

_Sun is burning on my face, the sun is setting me on fire_

_- Nobody Told Me, Puddle of Mudd -_

_* * *_

_Chapter 3_

_…doubt and fear…_

_I'm not his son._

_I'm not his son._

_I AM NOT HIS SON!_

Harry twisted on the hospital bed; not even close to getting the rest Madam Pomfrey wanted him to. She had mended most of his broken bones and bruises except for a few of the deeper ones and his wrist, which was now bandaged tightly. Looking across the room he saw himself in a mirror that was hanging on the wall. Or, he saw _through_ the illusion that he _thought_ was himself and saw the _real_ him. 

The pale youth in the mirror grimaced at the same time he did and Harry closed his eyes tightly, rolling over so his back was to the mirror. He did not want to see those features again. 

He knew now why they had seemed so familiar when he had first seen them. He saw them every time he went to Potions class on the face of Severus Snape. 

* * * * * * * * * 

"So we're just going to let him lie there?" 

"Remus, he must get through this on his own." 

"How can you say that, Albus! You just told a boy that all he knew about himself isn't true because the man he has known as his father for entire life wasn't really his father!" 

Dumbledore fixed Remus with a firm look and said, "It had to be done. Would you have wanted him to continue believing what was not true?" 

Remus opened his mouth to reply. And closed it. 

"No." 

"_That_ is why I let him read the letter." 

The two men looked at each other across the desk for a moment before Remus stood and picked up the Portkey. 

"I had better return this to 'Bella. Then…Merlin's beard, what am I going to tell Sirius?" 

"That, Remus, is up to you," replied Dumbledore kindly. 

Remus groaned then made to leave. 

"Remus." 

"Professor?" 

"Good luck." 

Remus nodded, "Trust me I'll need it." With that he left. 

* * * * * * * * * 

"_THEY DID WHAT!!_" 

Remus winced as Sirius let loose a string of insults as he heard what had happened. 

"Sirius." 

Sirius whirled to face Remus, a mad glint in his eyes. Remus took an involuntary step back. Sirius looked every inch the murderer he was supposed to be with _that_ look in his blue eyes and his lips drawn back from his teeth in a feral grin. 

"I'm going to go and curse them into oblivion. I'll…I'll…. Damnit, I don't know what I'll do but it's going to be child's play compared to what they did to Harry!" 

"Sirius!" Remus grabbed his friend's arm and continued quickly, "Hurting them won't help Harry." 

"It'll make me feel better," replied Sirius in a low growl. 

"Think of Harry, Sirius! Would he want you to do this?" 

Remus saw the doubt pass across the blue eyes and then the other man relaxed. 

_Slightly._

"Right as always, Moony. Right as always." 

Remus breathed a sigh of relief. Then grabbed Sirius by the tail as he turned into his Animagus form and tried to run for the door. 

"_Sirius!_" 

Sirius popped back into human form, looking like he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He grumbled, "Alright, alright. I won't go turn those bastards into toads." A fierce light came into his eyes and he growled, "But Albus had better not let him go back to them! I _will_ kill them if they try something like that again." 

Remus nodded in agreement. 

* * * * * * * * * 

_Tap, tap._

"Come in." 

Severus Snape looked up from reading a book and blinked at Dumbledore. 

"Albus?" 

"Good evening, Severus." 

"Mmm. What are you down here for?" 

Dumbledore pulled a yellowed piece of parchment out of his robes and handed it to the Potions Master. Severus took it tentatively, his dark eyes watching the older wizard's face as he did so. He unrolled the letter, his eyes widening as the words written in by a hand he had tried to forget blossomed from the paper. 

The letter floated to the floor a few moments later. Dumbledore reached out a hand and touched the younger wizard's shoulder. 

"Severus?" 

Silence. Then… 

"Get out." 

Dumbledore nodded and left, leaving the letter where it lay on the floor. As soon as the older wizard's footsteps had stopped echoing down the hall, Severus bent over and picked up the parchment, reading it once more. When he was done his eyes moved to a picture of a red-haired woman and a younger version of himself sitting on his nearby desk. 

"_I have a son._"   
  
  
  


_* * *_

_Everythings so blurry and everyone's so fake everbody's empty and_

_Everything is so messed up preoccupied without you I cannot live at all_

_My whole surrounds you I stumble and I crawl and_

_You could be someone you can be my scene you know that I'll protect_

_You from all of the obscene I wonder what you're being imagine where you are_

_There's oceans in between us but that's not very far_

_- Blurry, Puddle of Mudd -_

_* * *_

_Chapter 4_

_…everythings so blurry…_

_Harry,_

_Are you okay? I haven't heard from you in a week! Is something wrong? Harry, please tell me if something is wrong. You know I'll help you anyway I can. Please, Harry write back soon._

_Love, Mione_

Harry sighed as he looked down at the letter. It was the last letter Hedwig had brought him from either one of his friends. 

Where _was_ Hedwig anyway? 

He could ask Remus… 

_No!_

Harry shook his head at the thought. He couldn't talk to Remus. Not now. Not when he knew… 

_No, don't think about it. Don't think about it…_

He couldn't help it. He couldn't help but think about his…_father._

His father. 

That was a laugh. 

His _father_ was the most hated professor at Hogwarts. The same professor who had raked Harry from arse to ears in Potions class time after time then had saved his life. 

Sighing, Harry leaned over the side of the bed to his trunk. Someone had brought it in when he had finally gotten to sleep. He ignored the long fingers that wrapped around his quill as he scribbled a reply to Hermione on a sheet of parchment. 

He could ask Madam Pomfrey to take it up to the Owlery for him, maybe. But he had to write Mione. _Had to. _He had to tell someone. Not Sirius. No, his godfather would never understand. Not with the hate between him and Sn – Harry's _father._

Harry signed the letter and chucked his quill back into his trunk. 

"Madam Pomfrey?" 

* * * * * * * * * 

"Mione, you have a letter!" 

Hermione looked up from doing her Transfiguration homework and called, "Just a second, Dad!" Quickly, she completed her sentence then sprinted out of the kitchen to where her father stood in the living room, an owl perched on his shoulder. 

_That's one of the school owls…_ thought Hermione, wondering why she would be getting a letter carried by a school owl. She'd already gotten her Hogwarts letter (she had been made a prefect), so who would be sending her another letter? 

Quickly she took the letter from the owl, which flew out a window a moment later. Mr. Granger relaxed and ran a hand through his thinning brown hair before turning to his daughter. 

"Who is that one from?" 

Hermione peered at the writing on the front of the letter and recognized it as Harry's, who she hadn't heard from in a week. 

"Harry." 

Mr. Granger nodded then, humming a tune, vanished into the kitchen. He and his wife tended to do that when their daughter got a letter from one of her school friends. Hermione sat down on the couch, ripping open Harry's letter. Somehow she had the feeling that there was something dearly wrong with her courageous friend. 

And she was right… 

_Mione,_

_I'm sorry I didn't write you back sooner. And I'm sorry I worried you. _("Just like Harry," murmured Hermione with a smile) _But something really big has happened to me. I-I feel like you're the only person I can really talk to. Ron wouldn't understand. Neither would Sirius. They both hate_ – a scratched out name - _too much._

_I suppose I should start from the beginning, aye? I've always heard that's a good place to start._

_Anyway, it started on my birthday. I started having amazing growing pains. Well, not really amazing. Killer growing pains, is more like it. Seemed pretty normal. Till two weeks ago when I woke up and found I didn't need my glasses anymore._

_Now if that's not enough to show that something's up, listen to this. I look in the mirror and there's a different person staring back at me!_

_So, I wrote to Sirius and he wrote back, saying Remus would be coming by the next day._

_Of course, by then my uncle had gotten into a drunken rage and had decided to take it out one me. _(Hermione gasped)_ Don't worry, I'm fine. Remus came and got me and I'm at Hogwarts now. I don't know where Hedwig is, which is why a school owl brought this. I also can't get out of bed, so Madam Pomfrey took the letter up to the Owlery for me._

_But, this isn't really the subject of my letter. I-I found out something about myself. Here goes, it turns out I'm not who I thought I was._

_I'm…_

_I'm…_

_Oh hell, I'll just say it and damn the consequences._

_Snape is my father. _(Hermione's eyes widened and she clasped her free hand over her mouth)

_Surprising, isn't it? My father. That slimy git. Y'know, if you really think about it, its kind of funny in a totally-depressing-want-to-kill-yourself-way. Though I'm certain you don't think it is._

_Please don't tell Ron. Like I said, he won't understand and now you know why. He hates Snape almost as much as he hates Malfoy._

_And please write back. I-I don't think I know who I am anymore._

_Harry_

Hermione let the letter fall to her lap, both her hands covering her mouth. _Oh God…_ she thought. Her friend – her courageous, gentle friend – was the most hated professor's son. The very thought of it was ludicrous.

But she had known Harry for four years. He wouldn't have done something like this. He _couldn't_ do something like this as a joke. It wasn't in Harry to pull things like this on his friends. 

Slowly, she picked up the letter and reread the last line. 

_I-I don't think I know who I am anymore._

Hermione felt a tear slid down her cheek as she reread this line. 

She had to get to her friend. 

And she had to get there now.   
  
  
  


_* * *_

_Everyone is changing there's no one left that's real_

_Make up your own ending and let me know just how you feel_

_Cause I am lost without you I cannot live at all_

_My whole world surrounds you I stumble then I crawl and_

_You could be my someone you can be my scene you know that_

_I will save you from all of the unclean_

_- Blurry, Puddle of Mudd -_

_* * *_

_Chapter 5_

_…no one left that's real…_

_Dear Professor Dumbledore,_

_Harry wrote me and told me what happened. He-he sounds so lost, professor. I want to help him but I don't think I can do it from here._

_Could I possibly come up to Hogwarts early? You could say I need to be drilled on my duties as a prefect. Please, I am just so worried about him._

_Hermione Granger_

Dumbledore chuckled and laid the letter down on his desk. He then picked up his quill and a clean sheet of parchment and began to write. 

* * * * * * * * * 

_Miss Granger,_

_Arrangements have been made and someone will come to bring you here at two o'clock tomorrow. You will be staying in Gryffindor Tower. Harry will be staying there as well as soon as he is released from the Hospital Wing._

_I trust you can do what we cannot._

_Albus Dumbledore_

"'I trust you can do what we cannot'," murmured Hermione as she stared at the letter from the Headmaster. 

"Mum! Dad!" 

Hermione sprinted downstairs from her room, letter in hand. 

* * * * * * * * * 

The next day Hermione stood in her living room with her trunk. She paced nervously, glancing at her watch from time to time. At the exact moment two o'clock came around, a silky voice spoke from behind Hermione. 

"Miss Granger." 

Hermione whirled aroundto see Snape standing in the middle of the living room, looking very unlike the Potions Master she remembered. He was dressed in dark blue jeans and a white t-shirt with a black leather jacket thrown over his shoulder, his long hair tied back in a ponytail. If she hadn't known him already, she would have suspected he was an ordinary Muggle. 

"_Professor?_" 

Snape sneered. 

"Yes, Miss Granger. Now, hurry up. I have other business to attend to before we return to Hogwarts." 

Hermione nodded numbly and bent to pick up her trunk. 

"Never mind." 

Snape pulled his wand out of the sleeve of his jacket and waved it at her trunk. A swirl of golden sparkles flowed out and enveloped her trunk. Seconds later, it was the size of a Snitch. Hermione quickly picked it up and tucked it into the pocket of her jeans. Snape suddenly held out his hand and growled, "Let's go." 

Hermione hesitated and the older wizard's scowl deepened. 

"We don't have all day. Grab my hand. We are Apparating." 

Hermione didn't hesitate after that snapping voice. She took Snape's larger, calloused hand, which enveloped her smaller one. A moment later they appeared in a part of Muggle London. Hermione staggered in surprise and nearly fell. A surprisingly gentle hand grabbed her arm and hauled her back up. After she got her balance back, she looked up into Snape's opaque black eyes. 

"I trust there will no more accidents while we are here?" 

Hermione nodded numbly. 

"Good. Follow me then and don't get lost. I will not make an attempt to find you."

Snape then released her arm and stalked off. Hermione followed, wondering how on earth this man could be Harry's real father.

a/n: a note to Arabella Figg – Lily _is_ Gryffindor in the books but her being Slytherin fits my story much better.  Especially to that note she left to Dumbledore.

  


* * *

[1] congelo – freeze

[2] verto – transform

[3] latere veritas – truth lie hidden

[4] presso – to conceal


	2. Ch 6-10

May I make a point of saying that disclaimer's are highly overrated? I mean, the site is called _Fanfiction.Net._ Why, pray tell, do we need disclaimers? We all know I don't own this. I dearly wish I _did_ but…I don't. And now that my rant is done, let the fic begin. 

** Another fic for Severitus' challenge. **   
  


_* * *_

_Make no promises to me you're slowly melting_

_Wake up then fall back asleep you're quickly failing_

_Hey man you'll have to wait you're turn_

_I can see that you're jonesing_

_Taste no flavors on my tongue they've evaporated you've desenegrated_

_- Bring Me Down, Puddle of Mudd -_

_* * *_

_Chapter 6_

_…slowly melting…_

"Granger!"

Hermione jerked and looked up into dark coal like eyes, blinking. Where was she?

"Granger, wake up!"

That voice sounded oddly familiar yet far away wait!

_Snape in her house…Dumbledore's reply…Harry!!!_

"Sir?"

Snape sighed and growled, "It's about bloody time. I have work to do and I cannot do it while you are sitting here daydreaming."

Hermione wrinkled her nose then stretched, yawning. She rose slowly from the position she had occupied on the bench for the past half-hour while Snape had been inside the Muggle bookstore.

"Are we going to Hogwarts now, professor?" she asked in the quiet voice that the potions master always seemed to bring out in her.

Snape only nodded, scowling at an old couple across the street that was staring at them. The couple looked away quickly at the cold look and picked up their pace. A moment later Snape grabbed Hermione's wrist with one large, long fingered hand and suddenlyApparated before the girl could say anything.

* * * * * * * * * 

"Severus, are you trying to kill Miss Granger?"

Hermione blinked the stars out from in front of her eyes trying to regain focus and equilibrium. After a few shaky moments she saw Dumbledore standing a few feet away from them, his blue eyes twinkling behind his half-moon glasses. Snape released her wrist and turned towards the headmaster.

"Of course not, headmaster," said Snape. "If you will excuse me…"

Dumbledore nodded and Snape stalked off down the hallway in his usual hurried pace. Hermione could only guess he was heading for the dungeons.

"Miss Granger?"

Hermione blinked. She had spaced out again, but this time the wake up call she received was in a much gentler voice.

Dumbledore smiled at her and said, "Would you like to see Harry?"

Hermione nodded and said, "Yes, sir."

"Come with me then." 

* * * * * * * * * 

Dumbledore pushed open the infirmary door, motioning Hermione inside. She crept past him and saw that there was only one occupant residing in the large white room. Shoulder-length hair of inky black crested the thin shoulder blades of the boy on the bed, framing the thin but familiar face of her friend. She could see the pale marks of bruises on the equally pale skin, along with faded scars. The bright green eyes were focused away from her on a book held in his hands, which were also lined with scars. He seemed to be in his own world, until she let out a surprised gasp, that is.

Harry jerked, the book tumbling from his fingers, and looked up, fear flickering in his eyes. A smile then broke across his face as he said, "Mione."

Hermione held a hand to her mouth and gasped, "Oh, God, Harry…. What did they do to you?"

Harry simply motioned her forward, picking up the book and setting it aside. Hermione walked over to him slowly. She could see in a mirror on the far wall that Dumbledore had already left the room. She moved carefully over to her friend, eyes wide. Harry smiled and shifted his position, patting the bed softly.

"Have a seat."

"No, what if I…"

"Mione, you won't hurt me." Said Harry in a quiet matter-of-fact voice, reminiscent of Snape's, his emerald eyes locking with her brown ones. Hermione sighed and pulled herself up to sit on the bed beside her friend. They sat in silence for a moment until she spoke.

"So…"

"So," said Harry.

"What happened?"

Harry looked at her for a moment then turned away.

"Like I said, Uncle Vernon got drunk. He took his rage out on me."

"And…you…"

"Survived? I suppose." Harry smiled slightly and added sullenly, "If you call this surviving." He said this while looking at his pale, scarred hands.

"Harry…" Hermione laid a hand on her friends arm.

Harry slammed his fist down on the mattress, jaw clenched.

"I just don't _get it!_ This doesn't make any bloody sense!"

"Harry, calm down."

Fierce emerald green eyes met her cinnamon brown ones with an intensity that Hermione could not believe and she pulled back. Harry glared at her and Hermione swore she saw his face flicker for a moment. His expression then softened and he sighed, leaning back against the headboard, wincing slightly.

"I'm sorry, Mione. I shouldn't…"

Hermione hushed him by pressing her finger against his mouth. She smiled gently and said, "Its okay, Harry. You're confused and upset."

"Confused and upset are hardly the words I would use but they work well enough, I guess."

"Oh?" said Hermione, arching an eyebrow. "And what _would_ you use?"

"Bloody lost and atmy wit's end."

Hermione looked at him for a moment then laughed. Harry smiled and said, "I'm glad you're here, Mione."

Hermione took her friend's hand and squeezed it gently.

"So'm I, Harry. So'm I."

  
  


_* * *_

_Charms come around two times so you better be good_

_Watch out for unfamiliar signs when you're going the wrong way_

_Look back to the devious minds they keep pushing me pulling_

_Baby Jesus never sleeps when you're being a sinner and hell eat you for dinner_

_- Bring Me Down, Puddle of Mudd -_

_* * *_

_Chapter 7_

_…unfamiliar signs…_

"Harry, your insane!"

Harry frowned at Hermione.

"I don't appreciate that comment."

"I didn't mean it seriously, silly. But you _have_ to tell Ron."

"ARE YOU MAD, WOMAN!?"

Hermione frowned at him now. Harry pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes and groaned.

"Mione, I _can't_ tell Ron. You know how he is. Who knows what he'd do, what he'd say." Harry said with a sigh into his hands.

"So what are you going to do? Go on as if nothing has happened?"

"Something like that," came the muttered reply.

"_Harry!_"

"What?" snapped Harry. "What the bloody hell do you _want_ me to do, Mione? Announce to the entire wizarding world that my entire life has been a lie? Hmm? Is _that_ what you want? Do you expect me to just tell them all that my real father is Severus Snape, ex-Death Eater and spy? I'm sure that would settle real well with Voldemort."

Hermione searched her friends face and said, "You sound so much like him."

Harry scowled, knowing whom she was talking about. He growled, "I do not!"

"He's your father, Harry."

"I DON'T BLOODY WANT HIM TO BE!" Harry growled and pushed the heels of his hands against his eyes again. "Why does everything have to happen to me? _Why?_ Tell me that, Mione. What did I do to deserve this?"

Hermione looked sympathetically at her friend and replied simply, "You're the Boy-Who-Lived."

"Oh, yes," said Harry harshly. "The mighty Boy-Who-Lived.  The boy who lived while his parents, oh sorry his mother and her husband died, the boy who lived while his friend died right next to him." Harry sighed, "Maybe I do deserve this."

Hermione frowned. She had never heard Harry so disheartened. Either the situation was really getting to him or…

"Harry, were there any spells placed on you?"

"What?" said Harry, he was right in the middle of a serious guilt trip and hadn't heard the question Hermione had asked him.

"Spells. To hide your appearance."

"I – I don't know. You'd have to ask Dumbledore."

Hermione nodded and said, "I'll be right back."

"I'll be right here." He said as he slumped back against the backboard.

With a nod, she sprinted from the room.

* * * * * * * * * 

"Professor!"

Dumbledore turned to look down at Hermione, who came to a halt in front of him, panting.

"Yes, Miss Granger?"

"I was wondering if there were any spells on Harry. To hidehis appearance. I mean, if Snape…"

"Professor Snape," corrected Dumbledore.

"…is his real father," continued Hermione without skipping a beat, "then he shouldn't look so much like James Potter. Should he?"

Dumbledore smiled slightly and said, "Correct, Miss Granger. There were two spells placed on Harry and a potion. We could remove the spells but the potion is going to have to drain from his system on its own."

"Would you remove the spells, please?" She added please as an after thought, she was more concerned with Dumbledore's answer than manners at the moment.

"Only if Harry wants me to."

"Alright. Thank you, professor!" Hermione sprinted back down the hall towards the infirmary. Dumbledore shook his head after her thinking that Harry was lucky to have such a good friend then he continued on to his office. 

* * * * * * * * * 

"Harry!" Hermione called as soon as she entered the infirmary.

"Mione? What's going on?"

Hermione panted for a moment then said quickly, "IwantyoutoletProfessorDumbledoreremovethespellscastonyou."

Harry blinked and held up his hands to stop her from continuing.

"Okay, first, _slow down._ Second, what spells?"

"On your appearance. If Snape really is your father, then you shouldn't look like James."

Harry's face hardened and he growled, "I don't _want_ to look like him.

"Harry, please…"

"No, Mione. If you want to remove the spells, then fine. You figure out how to do it. I don't need any counter spell to know what I look like underneath them."

Hermione blinked and stared at her friend. "What? How can you…?"

"I can see through the spells," replied Harry, looking down at his hands. "Dumbledore said some wizards are powerful enough that they can see through some spells. Since the one's on me are falling apart, a powerful wizard, like me apparently, can see through them."

"Professor Dumbledore can too?"

Harry nodded and looked over at a mirror on the wall. He shuddered then turned back to Hermione, not looking at her as he asked, "So, are you going to figure out how to remove the spells?"

"Not unless you want me too."

Harry sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"Go ahead. They're going to fall apart anyway. Might as well get it the hell over with."

Hermione reached out to touch her friend's arm but he jerked it away, still not looking at her. She frowned and pulled her hand back, hurt. Harry seemed to notice this and lifted his head, reaching out his hand to touch her shoulder.

"Mione…"

Hermione waved his hand away and took a step back. Harry slowly let his arm fall and whispered, "I'm sorry."

"I know," whispered Hermione. She then turned and left a small tear running down her cheek. Harry watched her as she went, and then he returned to staring at the whitewashed walls, thinking that at least this day couldn't possibly get any worse.

  
  


_* * *_

_What is wrong with all my friends_

_I know that I am unlike them_

_Just another situation_

_Don't hold me back I don't look up to them_

_They always act so dirty they keep themselves so clean_

_Why can't they find the answers to the questions that are_

_Right in front of me_

_- Out of My Head, Puddle of Mudd -_

_* * *_

_Chapter 8_

_…another situation…_

"He'll do it."

Dumbledore looked up as Hermione stepped into his office, wringing her hands nervously and not meeting his eyes. He nodded slowly.

"Then we shall remove them tonight."

"I'll tell him," said Hermione simply and then she turned and left.

Dumbledore watched the spot where she had stood for a moment then turned to look at the beautiful fiery red bird that was perched on it's stand. He asked, "Fawkes, Do you think Miss Granger is helping Harry any?"

The phoenix trilled a sweet note in response and rustled his feathers.

"Yes, I thought so too."

* * * * * * * * * 

"_Tonight?_" 

"That's what Professor Dumbledore said."

Harry sagged against the headboard, staring down at his hands. He ran his thumb over the pads on his index finger, chewing on his lip as his mind wandered. Hermione watched him for a few moments then left, muttering something about a book. Harry barely nodded in response.

"Tonight." He said to himself again in disbelief.

After tonight everyone else would see what he and Dumbledore saw.

After tonight everyone would see the real Harry.

  
  


_* * *_

_No one's ever listening the lines I've crossed somewhere_

_Between_

_My head is spinning like a top I don't know when this **** is going to stop_

_They always act so dirty they keep thereselves REAL CLEAN_

_Why can't they find the answers to the questions that are right in front of me_

_- Out of My Head, Puddle of Mudd -_

_* * *_

_Chapter 9_

_…spinning like a top…_

Hermione chewed nervously on the end of her quill. She had been sitting in the library for an hour, a large tome lying open on the table before her and her quill between her teeth. By now the feather was bent and battered, bits of it missing. Hermione winced and tried to straighten it as best she could before finally using the Reparo spell on it.

"Miss Granger."

Hermione jumped about three feet and fell back into her chair with a squeal. She looked up at a rather terse looking Professor McGonagall and smiled sheepishly.

"Hello, professor."

McGonagall gave her a tight-lipped smile and said, "The Headmaster wants to see you in the Hospital Wing. Now."

Hermione nodded and got up, righting the chair as she glanced at her watch. The face read '7:12'. She sighed and closed the heavy tome before returning it to its place in the bookshelves.

It was time.

* * * * * * * * * 

_Oh no._

Harry swallowed hard as Dumbledore entered the Hospital Wing, Fawkes perched on his shoulder. The phoenix flew over to land on Harry's knee, chirping in a reassuring tone. This would usually have cheered Harry up immediately but not even phoenix song could do that tonight. Dumbledore smiled gently and said, "Hello, Harry."

"Professor," said Harry quickly. He wanted to get this over with as quickly as he could.

_Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, this isn't happening._

Hermione slipped between the doors and crept over to the bed, her eyes focusing on Harry. She smiled weakly at him and he attempted to return it. His probably looked more like a grimace than a smile but right now that was the least of his worries.

"Ready, Harry?" asked Dumbledore, drawing his wand.

Harry swallowed hard.

_Hell no._

"Yes, sir."

_Damnit, can't we just forget about it and call it a night?_

"Alright then. You understand that the effects of the Verto Potion will have to wear off?"

"Yes, sir."

Dumbledore nodded and lifted his wand, pointing it at a spot between Harry's eyes.

"_Patesco Veritas__1__._"

A strand of golden lights flowed out of the old wizard's wand and hovered over Harry's skin. He eyed the golden motes warily as they danced about his face.

"_Resero__2__._"

A beam of lime green light shot outof the wand and struck Harry in the chest. There was a bright flash that blinded Dumbledore and Hermione for a moment before it cleared. The figure on the bed moaned and Fawkes trilled a soft note.

"Uhhn…"

"Harry?" breathed Hermione, staring at the unfamiliar figure on the bed.

"Uhn," moaned the figure as he sat up, reaching up a hand to rub at a face hidden behind a curtain of dark hair. A pale, long fingered hand brushed the hair back, revealing a thin, pale face with sharp cheekbones, thin lips, an aristocratic sort of nose, slightly slanted eyes of brilliant emerald green, and dark eyebrows that arched gracefully over the aforementioned eyes. Hermione gasped.

"_Harry._"

Harry smiled sheepishly, ducking his head so his long hair fell over his face again. He stroked Fawkes' feathers idly.

Hermione blinked a few times as she tried to gather her wits and scrape her jaw up off the floor. The boy before her looked _nothing_ like her friend except for the half-healed bruises and scars that were new additions to the older scars that she remembered. If anyone wanted to know who he was, they could just look at his forehead, where the telltale lightning bolt shone clear, no longer hidden by an untamable fringe of dark hair.

Dumbledore smiled and tucked his wand up his sleeve, leaving silently and swiftly. Fawkes however stayed, rubbing his crested head against Harry's hand, crooning in content.

"Well?"

Hermione looked up in surprise as Harry addressed her. She found herself staring into his eyes, as he looked straight at her; she could drown in those emerald green pools.

"What do you think?" asked Harry.

"I-I…" began Hermione then stopped. She smiled and whispered, "Your beautiful."

Bright pink tinged Harry's pale cheeks, the scowl that crossed his features marring it.

"That also implies other things, you know."

"Oh, Harry," said Hermione, stepping forward and placing a hand on her friend's arm. He didn't pull away this time but he didn't look at her either.

"Harry, you can't help who you are. You are who you _are_."

Harry looked up now, stopping in his stroking of Fawkes as he turned towards her.

"And who _am_ I? Tell me, Hermione Granger, who I am."

"You're the Boy-Who-Lived. You're a Star Seeker. You're the Youngest Tri-Wizard Champion ever. You're a defender of the Light. And you're my friend – my sweet, courageous, noble friend. 

You're everything you have always been, and being the son of Severus Snape does not change that."

Harry took her hand in his own and stared her straight in the eyes as he asked – no – _pleaded, _"_But who **am** I?_"

Hermione reached up with her other hand and cupped his cheek.

"You are who you are. That's all that matters. And that's all you have to be."   
  


_* * *_

_Met a girl thought she was grand fell in love found out first hand_

_It went well for a week or two then it all came unglued_

_In a ***** trip I can't grip never thought I'd be the one who'd slip_

_Then I started to realize I was living one big lie!!!_

_- She Hates Me, Puddle of Mudd -_

_* * *_

_Chapter 10_

_…one big lie…_

_Breathe. Breathe. Just be calm. It'll be okay. Everything'll be fine. Just…_

"I can't do this," whispered Harry as he watched the carriages approach. He turned to walk off but Hermione caught his arm in an iron grip, turning him around and looking up at him.

"You _can_ do this, Harry. Don't worry, I know you can do it."

"Damnit, Mione, how can you be so calm?"

Hermione smiled and replied mischievously, "Whoever said I was calm?"

The weeks after Hermione had arrived had gone by quickly. Harry had recovered enough that Madam Pomfrey released him from the Hospital Wing and he moved back into the Gryffindor Tower with her. The two of them spent their time in the library or wandering about the castle. They tried to avoid the professors and whenever they saw one, Harry would duck his head, hiding his face behind a curtain of dark hair. Hermione would simply touch his arm and smile gently.

"You seem calm enough to me."

"Haven't we had this conversation before?"

"I think so," replied Harry with a wry smile.

"Hmm. Well, will you look at that, there's Ron!"

Harry swallowed so hard that Hermione could see his Adam's apple rise and fall. She squeezed his hand and said reassuringly, "Everything will be fine."

"He's not going to recognize me," muttered Harry. "He's going to want to know what happened."

"You'll have to tell him eventually."

"I know."

They stood in silence for a few moments until the first student mounted the steps. Unfortunately, that student was Draco Malfoy. The blond sneered at Hermione then turned his gaze to Harry, blinking.

"I don't think I've seen you before."

Harry couldn't help but smirk as he said, "Exchange student."

"Oh. I'm Draco Malfoy. Nice to meet you."

"Yeah, You two." Harry said in a condescending tone that would have given Snape a run for his galleons.

Draco frowned then shook his head and continued on past them. Hermione gave Harry a questioning look a moment later.

"_Exchange student?_"

Harry shrugged his thin but broad shoulders, his lips quirking into a half smile. "Yeah. How long do you think it'll take him to figure it out?"

Hermione smiled and said, " I don't care how long it takes him to figure it out. I just want to be there to see his reaction."

Harry had also managed to get Hermione into more of a joking spirit over the weeks they had spent together.

He smiled at her for a moment before turning back to the carriages and paling to a pasty shade of white. "Oh hell…"

Hermione looked and paled slightly as well but quickly regained her composure. She squeezed Harry's fingers reassuringly and whispered, "It'll be okay."

Harry swallowed and said, "I'm just…I'm worried thathe'll hate me. Mione, he's my best friend."

"I know."

"I can't lose him. Not now."

Hermione took his other hand and turned him towards her. She looked straight up at him and said, "You won't. Because I swear if he hurts you, I'm going to _seriously_ hurt him."

Harry looked at her for a moment, his eyes searching her face, then he smirked.

"Why, Mione. It almost sounds as though you have a crush on me."

Hermione's cheeks flushed but she batted Harry's arm and scolded, "Stop thinking suchnasty thoughts."

Harry cackled and said, "I'm a baaaad boy."

Hermione laughed and batted his arm again.

"You're insane, that's what you are."

"'Insanity is natural. Everyone has it.'3"

"Where did you hear that?"

"A book."

"Quidditch?"

"Vampires," said Harry with another smirk. Hermione laughed then turned to see Ron coming up the stairs. He looked very worried but his look of concern was nothing compared to Ginny, who was sobbing into George's shoulder. Fred was walking behind Ron and was the first to see them.

"Oi, Herm!"

Harry froze, fear flashing through his eyes. Hermione felt his fingers tense in her hand and she clenched the long digits, glaring at him out of the corner of her eyes. He returned the glare with a scowl but did not try and run again.

"Have you seen Harry?" asked Ron as the four of them reached the top of the stairs. "And why weren't you on the train?"

Hermione smiled and replied, "Prefect duties." The silver 'P' badge gleamed from where she had pinned it above the Gryffindor crest on her robes. "And, yes, I've seen Harry."

"Really?" asked Ginny, lifting her head. Harry blanched when he saw her tear-streaked face and red eyes. Fred caught it and frowned at him, eyes narrowed. Harry returned the suspicious gaze coolly, noting that now he was a little taller than the three boys.

"Yeah."

"Why wasn't he on the train?" asked Ron. He suddenly seemed to notice Harry standing there, though what he really saw was a tall, pale, broad-shouldered boy with shoulder length black hair and a few faded scars across his thin face. "And who are you?"

Harry looked at Hermione out of the corner of his eye and she nodded. He swallowed hard then gathered all his composure and said the thing that he had dreaded saying for so long.

"I'm Harry Potter."

* * * * * * * * * 

There was silence. A very long, drawn out silence.

Harry waved his hand in front of Ron's face then snapped his fingers, causing the other boy to blink.

"Erm, did you just say you were Harry Potter?"

Harry rolled his eyes and looked at Hermione for help. She stepped forward and said, "Yes, Ron, he did."

Ron leaned over to Hermione and said, "Mione, is your friend off his rocker?"

Hermione sighed and said, "No! Ron, he is Harry!"

Ron blinked and looked Harry up and down.

"Wha'? How?"

"It's a long story." Replied Harry

"One I am sure you are willing to share with your Housemates _inside_ your common room after the Sorting."

Six sets of eyes turned to look at Snape, who was glowering at them. Harry narrowed his eyes and sneered at his father. Hermione grabbed his wrist – which had been reaching for the wand tucked into his belt – and dug her nails into it. Harry didn't make any sound, just glared down at her before turning his icy gaze to Snape. The dark professor returned it inch for inch.

"Excuse us, professor. We were just going inside to find out seats. C'mon, Harry."

With that she dragged him past Snape, not seeing the look of surprise that flashed across the Potions Master's face. Neither did Ginny, Ron, or the twins as they followed Harry and Hermione through the entrance hall and into the Great Hall.

Snape stood numbly for a moment, staring after them. He watched as the tall, lanky form of his son vanished through the doors; he shook all over. He had seen his features on his son's face. His and Lily's mixed together on his son's face.

His son.

The son who hated him.

Snape scowled and snapped at a pair of second year Hufflepuffs going by. They quickly scurried into the Hall and he smirked halfheartedly. He had more things on his mind than scaring the wits out of second years.

In a swirl of dark robes, he turned and headed for the dungeons.

_Damn the feast. _He thought.

He walked quickly down to his rooms and muttered the password. Throwing his cloak over a chair, he collapsed into another chair by the merrily crackling fire. Sitting there in almost complete silence he pulled out a tattered picture and unfolded it carefully.

Lily – alive, vibrant, and beautiful – beamed up at him, green eyes shining as she smiled and leaned against the other person in the picture. A younger version of himself had his arms about her waist holding her close, his black eyes gleaming with an emotion he hadn't felt in years.

Happiness.

The younger him turned Lily about in his arms and kissed her soundly. She wrapped her arms about his neck and returned it wholeheartedly.

Severus watched the two young wizards in the photo for a long time. After a while something trickled down onto his sallow cheeks. 

Some would have said it was a trick of the light.

Others would have said it was a tear.

A/N: There ye are folks!  Next par' written and beta read and corrected.  Next chap, Harry and Herm's explanation to the Weasley clan (part of it that is) and who knows what else.

And many hugs and chocolate frogs to my beta, Laura!  ^___^


End file.
